Thinking creatively about sex positions
From Cory Silverberg,
http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexualpositions/a/sexposition.htm
Questions about sex positions are among the most common and popular questions posed to sex educators, search engines, and call-in sex advice programs. What are the newest sex positions, the most common sex positions, the best sex position? Are there recommended oral sex positions, anal sex positions, sex positions for when you’re pregnant, living with chronic pain, or prone to dizziness?
The problem with these questions is that the answer is always the same: that depends. Sexual pleasure, and sex positions, isn’t a science, and the only way you can find out more about sex positions, is to bring the creativity you have in other parts of your life, into the sexual arena, and start exploring.
But if you're feeling a lack of creative ideas, read on for some of the key considerations when it comes to thinking about new sex positions.
Sex Position Tip #1: Physical Position
The most obvious part of any sex position is the physical position of your bodies. There are thousands of positions we can put our body into. Standing, kneeling, curled up in a fetal position, sitting with our legs spread open, with our legs crossed, squatting, etc... Most of the time, people who live with pain and chronic conditions (whether it’s chronic back pain, asthma, arthritis, or a broken arm that won’t heal for 8 weeks) can still find sex positions that will work for them and won’t increase their pain. Some sex positions, like spooning sex position are defined by the physical position you choose. Other sex positions will work regardless of the physical position of your body.
Think about positions that you like when you aren’t having sex.
How are you most comfortable, and what physical positions and postures make you feel sexy, or strong, or submissive. Having intercourse with your partner while they are all curled up in a ball is very different than when they are writhing on top of you arms up in the air. Both can be great, depending on the people. Think about what positions and postures you like, and a few you think you might want to try.
Sex Position Tip #2: What Movement, and Who is Moving
A good sex position isn’t just about how your bodies are arranged, it is a sex position that allows for the kind of movement you like in your sex. There are times you might relish a slow, even thrusting. Other times you might be in the mood for rougher, pounding sex.
Most of us who are over the age of 20 will have some movements that are less comfortable than others. Many of us will be unable to move in certain ways altogether because of pain or medical conditions. Each sex position is going to both limit and allow for certain movements, and most of them affect each partner differently. The woman on top position sex position obviously limits the kind of movement the person on the bottom can do, but it allows for the woman on top to move however she likes.
The key is to think about what movements feel good, to experiment in case there are some that would work for you that you hadn’t thought of, and then to use sex positions that allow you to move in the ways that work best.
Sex Position Tip #3: Angle of Penetration
Many men (and even a few women) lack important basic information about female sexual anatomy and male sexual anatomy. The angle of penetration is important to women because there are a variety of different areas of potential excitement inside the vaginal canal and the vagina. The angle can be important to men both in terms of stimulation of the penis, but also general comfort (a wrong move can seriously spoil the moment!) One angle may provide more g spot stimulation , there is also research that proposes that cervical stimulation may be very arousing for some women, and certain angles will increase indirect (or even direct) cervical stimulation.
You can change the angle of penetration either by adding pillows to your sex position or by physically holding your partners in a slightly different position, to experiment.
Sex Position Tip #4: Limbs, Which Ones, and What are they Doing?
When it comes to sex positions, we can focus too much on the genital connection, and ignore the fact that there is a whole body available for sexual stimulation. Arms, legs, hands, feet, can all be important players in an awesome sex position. The position of your limbs can also greatly affect how penetration feels. With a sex position like the edge of the bed sex position , having your legs dangling off the side of the bed will feel very different than having your legs hooked over your partners shoulders. Don’t ignore the rest of your body, you don’t have any pockets to put your hands into, so if you can use them, you might as well get them in the act.
Sex Position Tip #5: Rhythm
All the clichés about the “motion of the ocean” are true. Regardless of what sex position you’re in, regardless of how perfectly sized your partner’s penis might be, if there’s no rhythm, or if you and your partner can’t get in synch, the penetration probably won’t do it for you.
Some sex positions, like doggy style or rear entry sex position , can allow you and your partner a lot more movement, which can make it easier to find a rhythm that works for both of you. With positions like the missionary sex position , or side by side sex position , finding a good rhythm can take more time, practice, and strength.
Don’t be afraid to talk about this with your partner. The myth that sex comes naturally, and that if you don’t just “click” it won’t work, are just myths. While some people might be “natural” dancers, most of us have to learn a few steps before we get comfortable improvising our moves.
Sex Position Tip #6: Speed
I have a friend who says she can always tell when a new sexual partner has learned his technique from watching too much porn. Those guys think that all sex is, is five minutes of mind-numbing (and genital numbing) pounding. The speed of penetration is as important as any other element of a good sex position.
In almost all cases the speed will change as the penetration progresses. And changing the speed and pacing of penetration can really change the sexual stimulation and alter the way the whole encounter goes. It’s important to know what your body can and cannot do, and pace yourself so you can have the kind of penetration that will hopefully work for both of you. Because penetration can be physically too much for a lot of us, it’s also important to remember that couples won’t always both have a climax from penetration, and if your body is tired, it’s okay to switch to a different kind of sex play.
Of course these considerations aren’t really separate from each other. Take this example, You are penetrating your partner. They are lying down on their back, with their knees bent, genitals facing you. You are on your knees in front of them. If you lift up their legs and hook them over your shoulders, or if you just hold them in your arms, this changes both the angle of penetration, but it can also change the way you move.Labels: weekend flirt |
